Bright Eyes and Doublemint
by Thomas Hunter
Summary: Bright Eyes is a sentient parasprite with a staggering intellect. Doublemint is his adventure loving unicorn assistant. Join them as they work together to solve mysteries and become the greatest crime-fighting parasprite/pony duo Equestria has ever seen. Special Thanks: Moro, my friend and aid! And Papermoonwolf who created Port Alas and helped with other aspects of creation.


**Chapter 1: On Elocution and Forgery**

Snobby Snit could not get a moment's peace. For the past hour and a half of the train ride, the young mare he had the misfortune of sharing a compartment with had babbled incessantly. Not to him mind you, if she had, he would have at least been able to tell her to kindly shut up. Rather, the clearly unbalanced green unicorn had seen fit to talk to the red bowler hat on top of her head the entire way.

Worse yet, she acted as if it understood her, pausing for a response, nodding and occasionally letting loose a very unladylike snorting giggle which Snit assumed was her feeble attempt at laughing. The only saving grace of the whole ordeal was the proper Canterlot accent with which she spoke. However, at this point, even that had become too much to bare.

With a snort of derision, Snit took the book he had been trying to read, marked his place with a piece of paper from the pocket of his coat, slammed the book shut, and trotted into the hallway, nose in the air, in search of the conductor.

After searching for far too long, he found the conductor checking on the passengers in coach.

"Pardon me," Snit said, "I'm Snobby Snit and I have a problem."

He paused to let the gravity of who the other stallion was speaking to sink in. All he received was a polite smile in response.

"Of course, Mr. Snit. What can I do to help?" the conductor asked.

Snit frowned at the conductor's total lack of a reaction to who he was, but continued nonetheless.

"Since I boarded this train an hour and a half ago at the station in Fillydelphia. I have been riding in compartment 2B where I..."

"You've been riding in 2B? In the same compartment as Miss Doublemint?" the conductor's eyes widened and his jaw dropped, "What's she like?"

"Is that the name of that unfortunate pony?" Snit said with a sneer.

The conductor frowned at Snit's response, "I definitely wouldn't call her unfortunate. You mean that you really haven't heard of her Mr. Snit?"

"No, I can't say that I have," Snit said, voice dripping with disdain, "Who, pray tell, is this...Doublemint?"

"Why, she's only the best private investigator Equestria has ever produced! She's solved hundreds of cases all over the continent, and rumor has it that Princess Celestia herself has asked for her help on more than one occasion."

Snit looked down his nose at the conductor, "If she really is so clever, why does she talk to her bowler as if it can understand her? I'd say that's more a marking of a loon than a proper pony."

The other stallion simply smiled and shrugged, "That's just her way. She's always talked to her hat, especially when she's working on a case. And... it seems to work for her."

Snobby Snit simply harrumphed in response.

"But pardon my manners Mr. Snit. You had a concern. What can I help you with?"

Snit seemed to remember why he was there, "Yes, like I was saying I would like for you to remove this Doublemint from my compart..."

"Excuse me, are you the conductor?"

Snit shuttered when he heard an all too familiar voice behind him. He turned and saw the obnoxious green mare standing there, smiling.

"Oh, hello! You're not the conductor! You're my compart-mate aren't you?" Doublemint giggled at what she obviously thought was a clever turn of phrase.

" _It was too a good one!_ " she hissed to her hat.

"Yes, Miss Doublemint, correct?"

"Correctomundo! And you are Mister...Snoot."

"That's _Snit_."

"Right, right..." At this point, the green mare seemed to lose interest in the stallion and started to look around him. "Have you seen the conductor?"

"I'm right here Miss Doublemint!" The conductor waved, and then pushed his way past an incredulous Snit, "What can I do for you?"

"Ah yes. Would you kindly retrieve the train security?"

The conductor looked concerned, but signaled security. "What's wrong Miss Doublemint? Has there been a murder?"

Doublemint waved her hoof, "No, no. Nothing of the sort. Just a little money laundering. And please, call me Minnie."

"Money laundering? Who?" the conductor asked as security arrived.

"Why, Mr. Snoot here," Doublemint said matter-of-factly.

"THAT'S SN-wait, what? You're accusing _me_ of money laundering? Th-That's preposterous!" Snit responded, his voice shaking slightly.

"Unfortunately Mister Snoot, it's not. I have reason to believe that you and possibly others in your business are using said business as a front to launder fake bits into the system."

Snit glared at her, "You couldn't possibly have any proof of these outrageous accusations."

"Not to be rude, Mr. Snoot, but I just told you that I did. First, I noticed that the card you used to mark your place in your book was the business card of one Cartoli Stronghoof, a known member of the mafia and money launderer..."

"So what?" Snit interrupted, "I'm a business pony! I get handed a lot of business cards! That isn't any proof of your accusations!"

"Mr. Snoot, were you raised in a kennel? I wasn't finished speaking. Mind your manners!"

"Mind my manners? _You're_ telling _me_ to mind my manners? Why...why I never!" Snit sputtered.

Doublemint frowned, "There you go again! So rude! Hush up and let me talk!"

The irony of this last line so flabbergasted Snit that he found himself unable to form a single word. He simply stammered and stuttered, trying desperately to figure out where everything turned upside down.

"That's better. As I was saying, mister conductor, as Mr. Snoot took the business card from Stronghoof out of his pocket, I noticed a piece of rock fall out of his pocket and into the seat next to him. My suspicions having been raised, I soon found myself examining the rock, and discovered that it was a bit of phalocifite, a mineral almost exclusively used to make counterfeit bits."

Doublemint then walked over to Snit, and used her magic to lift up one of the lapels of his jacket.

" _What? The other one? Oh, sorry!_ " Doublemint mumbled.

She then placed the lapel back, gently straightened it, smiled apologetically at Snit, then lifted the other and presented it to the conductor.

"Do you see the gold splotch on his otherwise spotless lapel? I believe that if we were able to test it, we'd find that it is the same kind of dye mixed into a batch of melted phalocifite to give the counterfeit bits their golden color. Also, Mr. Snoot's luggage made a loud jingling sound as he entered our compartment. I think that if the authorities at the next station checked his luggage, they would find a rather large batch of counterfeit bits in his bag."

"I don't have to stand for this! If your security lays one hoof on me, I'll sue this train company for every penny it's worth!"

The conductor stood and considered for a while, then seemed to make a decision.

He sighed and said, "I think you do have to stand for this Mr. Snit. I may regret this later, but I trust Miss Doubl- I mean Miss Minnie's judgement. I'm going to have to confine you to your compartment until we reach Port Alas. We'll remove your baggage so that you won't tamper with any potential evidence. As long as Miss Minnie doesn't mind changing cars."

"Not at all," Doublemint said with a smile.

As the security ponies surrounded Snit, he was visibly seething.

"Look at the bright side Mr. Snit," the conductor said as they started to take Snit away, "you get the compartment to yourself, just like you wanted."

Snit simply scowled in response as he was escorted down the hallway.

* * *

.

* * *

"We were supposed to be going on vacation Bry!" Doublemint said looking up at her hat as she stepped out of the Port Alas Police Department.

"What? were we supposed to let a criminal go free just because we were 'on vacation'?" a tiny, buzzing voice from under the hat whispered into her ear, "and how many times do I have to tell you, my name is not 'Bry' it's Bright Eyes!"

"No, I suppose not," Doublemint replied, ignoring his jab at her pet name for him.

She continued with an audible pout in her voice, "But since they did find counterfeit bits in Mr. Snoot's bag, we're stuck here until the investigation is complete. Worst of all, we aren't even getting paid for solving this case!"

Doublemint heard a tiny sigh emanate from her friend, "Look, this place isn't so bad. It's right next to the ocean. You like the ocean, right? I'm sure we can find something to do while we're here."

"I know, but I was so looking forward to lying back on a hammock with my hoof hanging off, dragging in the golden sand of the beaches of Clove Island. Not to mention the fact that I've heard that no one there has ever seen a parasprite before since it's too far out into the ocean for them to fly. You would have been able to roam free! This place just seems..." she trailed off as she took in the overcast sky and her overall bleak surroundings, "dreary."

Another sigh, "You're right, but let's make the most of it shall we? I think that this place looks...fun. We'll enjoy our time here, just you wait and see!"

Doublemint giggled, "You know, for someone who insists on being 'realistic at all times' you sure are trying hard to be optimistic for me. Thanks Bry."

"I am not," he said with a blush of embarrassment, "and stop calling me 'Bry'!"


End file.
